Why Women in the Church Struggle to Trust Themselves | Faith & Mental Health

beemooreyouniversi

Apr 26

3 min read

TRUST IN THE LORD?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” | Proverbs 3

We’ve all heard it.

But let me ask you something real:

What happens when that teaching turns into not trusting yourself at all?

Because for a lot of women, that’s exactly what it does.

When Faith Turns Into Self-Doubt

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that our thoughts can’t be trusted.

That our instincts are “flesh.”

That our desires are “sin."

That our inner voice is something to question… or even silence.

So instead, we’re told to look outside of ourselves:

To God.

To a pastor.

To a husband.

To “authority.”

And little by little, we stop checking in with ourselves.

The Quiet Damage No One Talks About

If you’re constantly told:

You were born a sinner
Your nature is flawed
Your heart can lead you astray

Then what do you start to believe about yourself?

You start to believe:

“I can’t trust me.”

And when you don’t trust yourself, everything gets harder.

Your decisions.

Your relationships.

Your boundaries.

Your ability to feel safe in your own mind.

Let’s Talk About Women Specifically

A lot of women were also taught “order”

God → Husband → You...

Which sounds spiritual on the surface… but in reality?

It can create a life where your voice is always last.

Where your intuition gets overridden.

Where your needs feel secondary.

Where “being a good woman” means being smaller, quieter, more agreeable.

And after a while, you don’t even question it.

You just… disconnect from yourself.

And Then We Wonder Why Trust Is So Hard

Well...

It’s hard to trust other people when you don’t even trust yourself.

Think about it.

If you’re second-guessing your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own instincts…

How are you supposed to confidently trust anyone else?

You can’t.

So now you’ve got people walking around:

anxious
unsure
lacking discernment
constantly looking for someone else to tell them what’s right

That’s not peace. That’s confusion.

Fear Disguised as Faith

When you’re taught that the world is evil…

That your mind is deceptive…

That your nature is sinful…

You don’t live freely.

You live carefully. Fearfully. Hesitantly.

And a lot of us grew up like that.

Afraid of doing the wrong thing.

Afraid of thinking the wrong thought.

Afraid of being “out of alignment.”

That kind of fear doesn’t build strong women.

It builds dependent ones.

So What’s the Alternative?

This might sound simple, but it’s not easy:

Learn to trust yourself again.

Your thoughts? They matter.

Your voice? It matters.

Your instincts? They matter.

And if your inner world feels chaotic or negative sometimes?

That’s not proof you’re broken.

That’s a sign there’s something to work through.

Go to therapy.

Journal.

Reflect.

Heal.

But don’t abandon yourself.

A Hard Truth

Nobody is coming down from the sky to live your life for you.

You are here.

This is your mind.

Your choices.

Your responsibility.

And that’s not a bad thing.

That’s power.

Real Love Starts With Self-Trust

The way you treat yourself sets the tone for everything else.

If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll second-guess everything.

If you don’t respect yourself, you’ll accept less.

If you don’t love yourself, you’ll settle for surface-level love from others.

But when you trust yourself?

You move different.

You choose different.

You love different.

You show up different.

Final Thought

Maybe the problem was never that you needed to trust yourself less.

Maybe you were just never taught how to trust yourself at all.

And maybe…

that’s where your healing actually begins.